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Luckily here at e Harmony we understand how difficult this process can be so we have developed tools to help you every step of the way. Use the resources available When you are matched with someone and you view their profile for the first time, on the right hand side of the screen you will see a number of options available which you can use to make the initial contact.

You can send an ice breaker which is probably the best way to establish whether the interest is mutual.

What you are trying to do is give enough information about yourself to capture their interest so that they want to meet you but not so much that if nothing comes of it you are left feeling exposed or vulnerable.

Read their responses properly and follow up on things in your next email to them.

Read a match’s profile properly and ask them about specific aspects of it – the music they like – the photographs they have posted – how they came to be on the site.

Interesting people are interested in others and it is much better at this stage to keep the conversation about neutral topics rather than sharing your life stories and giving away personal details – remember that even though we do everything possible to ensure your safety some people may still misrepresent themselves.

You may be very good at one but not so good at the other and this trait will be more obvious when you begin communicating online because you can see the whole conversation as it builds.

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Conversation can be difficult at the best of times but when it is online with a stranger many people draw a blank in terms of how to get the conversation started.

Tell them if they made you laugh or if you were pleased to receive a response from them – people like to feel that they make a difference so acknowledging that tingle of excitement when you see a message from a match is a good way of being emotionally honest without revealing too much about yourself.

Avoid, wherever possible talking about problems or grievances as this stage – keep it light and remember to not get too invested in the outcome of your conversations before you meet up in person.


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